Mee Fale Englissh? Thaht’s Unpossoble!

My day was the same as it usually is. After staying up until 8:30 in the morning, I woke up close to dusk. I said hey to my family and went to take a piss. Then I raided the fridge for some food and washed the dishes. I sat around watching TV for the rest of the night until the family went to bed. Then I spend 8-10 hours online, gleefully spinning and leaning in my rickety-ass chair. I open my door and walk around heavily frequently throughout the night, making doubly sure to hit the creakiest portions of the floor. I raid the kitchen again, rattling jars, knocking over crap, and keeping the light on for ages even though I’m not in there. I leave my computer online to download useless files and steal whole albums as I go downstairs quickly and loudly. I watch great programs on digital cable including stuff such as World News Now, Miscellaneous Music Videos, Movie Channel 3 Hours Behind The Rest of The Damn Country, and my personal fave Pseudo-Talk Show Trying to Sell You Crap You Don’t Need. I run heavily back upstairs, turn on my loud electric toothbrush to brush my teeth, and flush the toliet so that it runs just before everyone wakes up. I close my door then open my window to let out that useless heat. I cover up in several blankets and try to go to sleep as everyone else wakes up. Then I curse them silently for making so much noise and drift off restlessly to sleep.