Trailer Watching

Via On Demand and the two movies I've seen in the past two weeks in the theater (Robots and Sin City), here are my thoughts on the trailers for upcoming films.

Stealth: What is it with black Oscar winners and action films as of late? Denzel did Man On Fire not too long after he won his Oscar. In addition to a Bond film, Halle Berry went on to do one good action movie (X2) and one very bad action movie (Catwoman). Morgan Freeman has two upcoming action movies (Batman Begins and Unleashed, which I will talk about later). Now Jamie Foxx, fresh off his Oscar-winning performance in Ray, follows up with a role in one of the most unoriginal action films I've heard of. This movie looks to be about a group of stealth fighter pilots (of which Jamie is one) who have to stop a computer controlled fighter when it gets a mind of its own after being struck by lightning. It's Top Gun meets a "Computers Gone Amuck" movie. Rob Cohen (who directed The Fast And The Furious and XXX but neither of their sequels) directs this film. If Jamie hadn't already done movies like Held Up and Bait, I'd swear that this would be his worst film.

The Honeymooners: This big-screen version of the classic comedy does two things that may or may not alienate people. First, it updates the show to modern times. Second, it takes the four main characters and makes them black. Cedric The Entertainer and Mike Epps play Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton with Gabrielle Union as Alice and Regina Hall as Trixie. If some people have complained about Jessica Alba being cast as Sue Storm in Fantastic Four because she's not white then there will be some complaints about this movie. The trailer doesn't make the film look that bad. Ralph and Norton are up to their usual hair-brained schemes (with a new Latin character played by John Leguizamo tagging along). Alice is just as strong-willed as ever. Ralph is still a bus driver and Norton still works for Streets and Sanitation. Everything else, though, is different. I think this movie could do well but this has to be the first case of a film based on a classic, mainstream TV show that will probably have to "crossover" to a white audience.

Mindhunters: This movie must be bad. Why do I say this off the bat? Well, I saw this trailer when we saw Sin City. And it looked familiar...because I saw it in front of a movie sometime last year. Miramax/Dimension really likes to postpone the hell out of their films...especially when they are cruddy. It's a shame that this is probably crap because it has a decent cast that includes LL Cool J, Christian Slater, and Val Kilmer. It revolves around a group of FBI profilers who embark on an exercise tracking a mock serial killer. However, it turns out to be more than an exercise when they start getting killed. This is a cable movie at best.

Unleashed: Only Luc Besson could write (but not direct) a movie that sounds so loopy yet looks like it could be good. Jet Li plays a man who is basically treated and raised like an attack dog by Bob Hoskins. Jet Li wears a collar and whenever it's removed, he follows Bob Hoskins' instructions to fight and kill. However, he escapes and finds solace in the home of a blind piano player played by Morgan Freeman (his name is Sam!) and a young white woman (sorry, I didn't recognize her). They help Li become a normal person again. Then Bob Hoskins starts searching for his "dog" and things get bad. I probably won't pay money to see this at the theater, but it could be an intriguing DVD rental. And just like the Besson written and directed The Fifth Element, this could become a cult flick.

The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy: I also saw this trailer in front of Sin City. I have never read the book, so I don't have any preconceived notions about the movie. That being said, the trailer makes the movie look interesting. It's one of the few trailers I've seen that's actually entertaining in itself, regardless of the film. The trailer I saw cleverly poked fun at trailer clichés. However, I think it was at the expense of really showing what the film is all about. My sister remarked that the trailer she saw online was better than this one. Either way, the movie itself is a maybe. I hope it's actually good.

The Amityville Horror (Remake): When a movie says that it's from Michael Bay, it's usually not a good thing. Michael Bay produced the remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and he also produces this remake. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake was very nice looking but not really scary, or even really disturbing. This remake of The Amityville Horror looks like it won't be all that great. The only good horror remake thus far has been Dawn Of The Dead and I'm beginning to think that was a fluke.

House Of Wax (Remake): Another horror remake? Joy. This one has just about every single hot young actor/actress on the planet. I think the only reason for anyone to see this movie will be to see Paris Hilton's character get killed. One can only hope that it looks like she suffers. There are a couple of neat looking sequences in this trailer (I think they are probably from the climax) but overall it looks like cruddy horror movie material.

Herbie-Fully Loaded: I'm about to admit something that people will laugh at me about...I like the Herbie movies. I own The Love Bug on DVD. I enjoyed those movies because they were goofy, family-friendly fun. Why can't we have more movies about machines being nice instead of evil (I'm talking to you, Stealth!)? Anyway, when I first heard about Herbie: Fully Loaded, I have to say that I had to wonder about it. Lindsay Lohan as Herbie's new driver...in the world of NASCAR...with Michael Keaton as her dad? Well, judging from the trailer, it looks like a fun little flick. Even in the short bits you see, it looks like the actors had fun making this movie. Matt Dillon (who apparently plays the bad guy) looks especially silly as Herbie decks him with its trunk. I also enjoyed the little (somewhat naughty) self-referential joke where Herbie looks at a new model Beetle and Lindsay tells it "She's too young for you." I probably won't be seeing this at the theater but if I had some extra money, I wouldn't mind going.

Star Wars Episode III-Revenge Of The Sith: After seeing this trailer, I'm holding out hope that this could be the Star Wars movie fans have been hoping for. I didn't really mind Episodes I and II that much, but I don't really consider myself a real Star Wars fan. However, Episode III looks to be better than both The Phantom Menace and Attack Of The Clones. The effects look wonderful and I'm really looking forward to Samuel L. Jackson showing Jedis how to die fighting. I only hope that fans don't have unrealistic expectations for this film. They have to understand that George Lucas will probably never make a film as good as the ones in the original Star Wars trilogy. All I'm really looking for from this film is an sci-fi action-adventure that is enjoyable and suitably dark.