The Jackson, MS Chronicles: The Wedding That Almost Wasn't

Saturday was a day I will NEVER forget. In my short life thus far, I have never gone through such a wide variety of emotions in one day as I did that day. By the end of this day, my family was both physically and emotionally drained.

It started off normal enough. Auntee, an early bird by nature, was up very early and went walking to various places. The alarm clock on the night stand went off at around 8:00 a.m., and woke me up out of my small amount of slumber. At around 8:30 or so, Auntee decided to walk up to Cracker Barrel, which was down the road from our hotel. I stayed in the room, put on my clothes from the previous day, and went to the lobby to get some of that complimentary continental breakfast.

As I was getting my breakfast, I was pleasantly surprised to see my cousin Phillip, the groom-to-be. We greeted each other and headed back to my hotel room. As we were walking back, he dropped one hell of a bombshell on me. The wedding was called off. His fiancee called off the wedding because Phillip went out with his Best Man and didn't finish up the programs for the ceremony. Of course, calling off the wedding for something like this was just plain ridiculous. As Auntee and my mom would say later, you don't really need a program for a wedding. Phillip and I talked and he entertained several ideas. With her calling off the wedding, he told me that there would now be no wedding. He felt that it wasn't right that something so trivial made his fiancee call the wedding off. He told me about how his lease would be up soon and that he might go back to Chicago.

Now, I have mentioned in earlier posts on this blog that his fiancee was not exactly well-liked by the family. Apart from having four kids and taking care of another one, she was eight years older than my cousin and often came off as manipulative and somewhat controlling. Frankly, the news of the wedding being called off wasn't exactly bad news to me. After a while, Phillip left to go to his Best Man's house and see if his fiancee had tried to contact him there. About 10 minutes after he left, Auntee returned. I had to break the news to her that the wedding was called off. She got pretty upset and angry at the whole thing. Not too long after I told her, my uncle and my other cousin Chenelle(who is going to law school in Jackson) came by. We greeted each other and talked about the news too. Phillip came back a little while after they got to our room, and we all talked amongst ourselves about the situation.

While we love Phillip and would've still loved him regardless of the marriage, we clearly felt it was better for him to not get married. In addition to not liking his fiancee, a lot of things about the ceremony rubbed us the wrong way. Very few relatives from our side of the family were invited. The wedding itself seemed rushed. Auntee complained about the white and lavender color scheme which had the groomsmen wearing white shoes in a ceremony that took place after Labor Day. None of us encouraged Phillip to go back to his fiancee, although Auntee mentioned that she most likely was very nervous.

Our feelings about her were made worse when we heard one of the answering machine messages she left for Phillip. In addition to saying that the wedding was off, she basically blamed Phillip for it and even said for him to tell everyone that he'd "pay them back in January." After that, we decided to take a load off for a little while by going to my cousin Chenelle's house.

We all rode in her Kia Spectra, which her father (the uncle who was with us) bought for her. Since he bought the car in Seattle, he forgot to buy the car with air conditioning. Hence, we scrunched into the compact car and rolled down the windows. Chenelle's house was very nice. She shared the house with two white female roommates, who happened to be out of town for the weekend. It was a single-level house with three bedrooms, a fireplace, and a rec room complete with pool table.

While Chenelle took a shower, the rest of us paired off and played pool. It was a lot of fun as we played 8-ball and 9-ball pool. I paired with my uncle while Phillip paired with Auntee. We split the games. After Chenelle was clean and ready, we left her place and went to Phillip's place.

Some big time developments happened there. First, we got to hear the damning evidence that his fiancee left on his voice mail. She left at least three messages saying the wedding was off and asking him to do various things. Then, we heard the message that Phillip's Best Man left for him. It was both funny and sad as he yelled into the phone for Phillip. He sounded particularly drained as he mentioned that Phillip's fiancee was cursing him out. Again, Phillip seemed resolute in not going through with the wedding. Phil's mechanic called him to let him know that his fiancee made up a story about locking her keys in her car in order to get the spare set he had. She also spun the story and claimed that Phillip was the one who called off the wedding (in reality, Phillip did have his fiancee's car and intended to drop it off at the church). We all thought we were going to the church to officially confirm that it was off and for Phillip to plead his case. We brought our change of clothes and everyone (except for Phillip) was dressed up.

After that, we went to the church. We saw some of Phillip's fiancee's family, but we really didn't greet them, nor did they greet us. While we were sitting in the parking lot of the church, waiting to see what would happen, it gradually became clear that the wedding was going to happen. Phillip helped a man bring an arch into the church. Then, he talked with his fiancee on her family member's cell phone. He talked and talked. He eventually walked all the way to the front of the church and away from prying eyes. Then, he made his way back and said:

"I guess I'm gonna do it, then."

He had to go pick up his fiancee and the groom's cake for the wedding reception. All of us were a little stunned, especially since just a few hours earlier, he swore that the wedding wasn't going to happen. He even told his Best Man that he could take his tux back. My cousin Chenelle, who considers him to be like a big brother, rode with him. Meanwhile, I went with my uncle and Auntee to get something to eat.

Both of them were depressed at the situation. They talked and griped about it. I just sat there and sighed. We went to Church's Chicken to get some food, then to Walgreens and Target to look for another camcorder battery for Auntee's camera (with no luck).

We went back to the church and waited to see what would happen. Phillip's Best Man came by the church. He was a nice guy who didn't feel that Phillip was necessarily going about things the right way, but supported him in his decision. I called my mom and sister to let them know what was happening while my uncle and Auntee talked with the Best Man. Apparently, he played the message that Phillip's fiancee left for him and according to my uncle and Auntee, Phillip's fiancee cussed up a storm on that message.

Phillip and Chenelle returned to the church, with the groom's cake in tow. He went into the church again, and talked with his Best Man again. But, despite any hope of it not happening, the ceremony would go on.

The wedding was supposed to start at around 4:30 p.m. It started more than two hours late. It was getting dark by the time the ceremony actually started. Despite the church having two central air units outside, the chapel had no air conditioning. It was very hot and humid inside. It was so hot, that we stayed outside until the ceremony was about to start. We only met selected members of Phillip's fiancee's family. We met her sister, who greeted us cordially. And we also met her mother who was supposedly blind. I say "supposedly" because she looked directly at people during the ceremony. We all thought she was legally blind as opposed to completely blind.

With no good battery to use, Auntee had to plug her camcorder into an outlet to use it to record the wedding. Chenelle and I each had a camera to take pictures. My uncle just sat back and witnessed the event. I was kind of sad as I realized that the four of us were the only family present at the wedding. Barely anyone sat on Phillip's side of the chapel, with only a couple of overflow people from his fiancee's side joining us.

The wedding started as music from a boombox played and the bridesmaids and groomsmen walked down the aisle. They were a combination of Phillip's fiancee's kids and other relatives. Then, his fiancee walked down the aisle, accompanied by her estranged father. Phillip's fiancee was wearing a nice white dress with a large train and a tiara...but no veil. Once she got to the altar and her father gave her away, They both kneeled down, closed their eyes, and said a silent prayer. The ceremony then went very quickly. The bishop made what seemed to be a pointed jab at us. He told the audience that the marriage between Phillip and his fiancee was "their marriage and not our marriage" and that "all opinions should be ignored except for God's opinion." When the 10-minute ceremony ended, they walked down the aisle as man and wife. Phillip gave us one last look as he walked down the aisle. Honestly, I don't know what it really meant. Was he mad that we weren't really smiling? Only he knows.

The bridal party then returned into the chapel to take pictures. We left for a bit (as that chapel was damn hot). Auntee and my uncle continued to talk about what happened and how they didn't really approve of it. Chenelle and I went back into the chapel to watch them take pictures, and take more of our own. I don't know exactly what emotions were going through Phillip during this, but it was an awkward situation. I wasn't angry or even sad, really. It was more melancholy, I guess. I felt bad that I couldn't feel happier for him, and I really hoped that he felt like he made the right decision. But things started to look a little better. He invited Chenelle and I to join him and his new wife in a picture. He also invited Auntee and my uncle, but they came too late.

The reception that followed was not that great. It consisted of two punch bowls filled with macaroni salad and potato salad (neither of which had ice near it in that very warm fellowship hall), a chafing dish filled with something (I don't know what, but it wasn't heated), and the two cakes. However, this reception contained the first signs that we would accept that Phillip was now a married man. Phillip's now-stepchildren greeted and embraced us. While we didn't really like Phillip's now-wife, her children were great. They were cute, well-behaved, and very nice. The youngest girl, Tiffany, gave everyone a hug. Josh, the middle child, hugged Auntee. The oldest girl was excited about starting high school and wants to go to college. You really couldn't feel that bad as you saw them, especially since they get such a good guy as Phillip for their stepfather. Auntee walked up to Phillip's now-wife and hugged her. She gave her some advice and did not insult her. I also said hello to her and gave my congratulations.

Since it was really late, we were hungry, and didn't want to risk eating the food at the reception, we had to leave before it was over. I was the last person to leave. I called out Phil's name and we acknowledged each other. I tried to get his wife's attention to say goodbye, but it was to no avail. With that, the four of us left the fellowship hall of the church, not sure how to really feel about what happened.